I hope she hurt on Mother’s Day as bad as I hurt, I hope it ate at her all day long. I hope she knows how horrible she is and realizes that she lost a daughter, lost the best thing in her life. I’m done with her, it feels good to be over it, it will always mess with me but I’m okay with it, accepted it, and I’m moving on. But today I hope it hurts her, I hope her whole day was horrible. Sorry, but I’m not sorry…

I am growing, every day. I am ever changing and becoming the person I truly want to be. I want to be a confident role model for those around me, someone who sets a good example. It’s cheesy but I want to make a difference, I don’t need to change the world but I want to help people, whether it’s a lot of people or just one. I have goals and big dreams for myself but the simplest and most important is to just be a good person who is happy and proud of her decisions. I want a family and a career but how I get there isn’t decided yet. I’m at the point now where I don’t have any regrets and I stand by my decisions, but I am still doubtful at times. Every day I learn new things, sometimes educational knowledge, sometimes just little things about people. I’m not the same person I used to be, but that is a good thing. I’m stronger now, more independent, and more aware of the world. A lot of things have changed me but I use it as a positive change.

Take every day as a learning opportunity, the world has so much to offer. When you stop learning, you stop growing. Learn from your friends, from strangers, from family. I’m 22 years old and I’m not ready to stop growing. Even when I get to the point I want to be financially and career-wise, I’ll never quit growing, I’m going to make it my goal to learn something every single day. Don’t stop growing, changing, learning; don’t ever stop taking advantage of every day.

I am growing, becoming a better me. I know who I am and who I want to be, now I’m just enjoying the crazy roller coaster ride I call my life. The thing about roller coasters is, right when it’s over, no matter how crazy and scary it was, no matter how nervous you were before or how many ups and downs there were, when you get off, you want to get right back in line and ride again. Life is worth the ride. Go grow <3

<3 Melissa

I’m a lover, not a fighter. Don’t get me wrong, I can fight a good fight, but you catch more flies with honey. I am a hugger, unless you’re my boss or the pope, you’re getting a hug! I love to laugh, a lot. There is no reason to be negative, unless you have betrayed me, we’re okay. You never know what other people are going through, so why not smile, say something nice, and offer a hug. I’ve had really bad days that were made a little bit better by the kindness of a stranger. I’m willing to do a lot for my friends and I would do just about anything for my family, and my friends that I consider family. This gets me in trouble sometime because some people take advantage of that. It hurts too not to always get the same in return when I give so much to everyone. I am sensitive, I can admit that, but I have every right to be. Sometimes I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t have the same mentality as me but then I consider everyone’s life has shaped them a certain way. I am a friend. I’ll be anyone’s friend, which has gotten me into trouble too, but given me some interesting stories. You need to have compassion; you need to let people in. I have trouble trusting people, even those very close to me, but I don’t have a problem being a friend. Being mean is no fun; it just leaves you feeling empty. Just try to be happy, enjoy the people around you, hug your friends and tell the people you love that you care about them, tell them as often as you can. You never know how long someone will be in your life or how much they need you there.

I’ve made the mistake of not realizing what someone meant to me. Not thanking him for everything he did for me, for supporting me and loving me. I would give anything to see him one more time and just be able to hug him and tell him how much he will always mean to me <3

I am loving. I am a hugger. I really care. I am a friend. I am here for you.

<3 Melissa

I am a faithful Christian. My faith is something that I have been working on for a long time in my life. I’ve always believed in God but I never really understood what that meant to me until recently. The reason I started going to church and trusting God more came from me needing Him, my family and I had reached rock bottom, I was hopeless and hurting. It felt like the world was falling apart, I needed something and I figured I’d give God a chance, and He worked. I know what a lot of people think, and I used to hide my faith from my friends. Now I embrace it, I don’t care if you think my beliefs are crazy, I’ve never tried to force my religion on any one of my friends. I love inviting my friends to church and talking about God’s work in my life but it’s not my job to push you, I just hope you see His work through me. I know I do things I’m not supposed to, but I’m not perfect, no one on earth is, but at the end of the day I know I’m on the right path, I know things happen for a reason. I can’t show you hard facts, quote the bible, or witness on miracles, but what I can tell you is I’ve felt God’s peace; I’ve gotten answers and seen His work. I’ll be honest, when life throws me a curveball, I feel sad, and I’ve had all I can take, I question Him. I ask why this would happen to me, when I’m a good person, why is there so much bad in a world He created? But then I look at all I’ve already gone through, and I made it, there was nothing I couldn’t handle. Every bad thing that has happened in my life made me stronger, made me the person I am today, shaped the way I see the world and how I treat people and live my life. God never did anything bad to me, people in my life treated me poorly, their decisions changed things but it’s my decision on how I react, what I do about it.

 I don’t go to church as often as I’d like, but I know I’m doing what I’m supposed to. He knows what’s on my heart, I pray for those I love and those who have hurt me. I’m working towards what I’m meant to be. God finds me when I’m not looking for Him, whether it’s in a bible verse that I find randomly, a sense of relief on a stressful day, or a kind word from a stranger. You would be surprised where you can find a little divine intervention! It’s human nature to doubt a greater power, it’s our selfish way, but I am forgiven, because I am saved, a child of God.       

I am faithful, I am hopeful, a little bit pessimistic at times, but that is momentary. I know my fate, I’m not fearful of the long term, the here and now is what scares me. I know ‘everything will be alright’ but it there is always concern. My way of looking at it, at the very lowest level, is how could you go on through life thinking this is it? That’s depressing. My time is coming, whether it’s here and soon, down the road or God knows when. It’s going to get better, one day, I’m sure. So when I have bad days, when I break down, I’m crying and doubtful, I just fall back on my faith. Whatever you choose, find some faith.

And if ever there comes a day, when you want to talk about anything, know I’m there for you… anytime, about anything. You’re never alone, everyone gets that feeling, but you’re never truly alone, I can promise you that someone cares, I care. Much love.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

-Hebrews 11:1

<3 Melissa